About
My name is Robert Nelsen!
and this is my story...
It is a beautiful love story with a sad ending. My story begins in 1998.
I was still grieving from the passing of my wife. We had a wonderful 32-year loving relationship, and her loss was unbearable for me.
Although I had lived my entire life in a small town near Seattle; the memories would not allow me to move on in my life.
I began traveling endlessly in my motorhome trying to put the pain of my grief behind me.
After several months, I was returning to my home in Washington State. I had crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, and for a moment considered the proverbial jump.
I was not looking forward to returning to my hometown knowing that only my grief and sadness awaited me.
I passed by Redding California. A few miles later I saw a freeway sign, “Lakeshore Inn & RV Park.” I decided to stop for the evening and continue my journey home in the morning.
As the Sun was rising, I was enjoying a morning cup of coffee and taking in the beautiful view of Shasta Lake.
I felt a surge of tranquility and peace flow through my body. An inner voice told me not to leave.
I walked over to the Lakeshore Inn’s office to inquire if I could extend my stay for a few more days.
The lady behind the counter informed me she was the manager, her name was Charlotte, and that I could stay for as long as I liked.
Charlotte had a welcoming smile that I needed to believe was genuine.
For the next few weeks, I explored the surrounding areas of Redding and Shasta County.
I soon realized that Redding had all the requirements on my “Checklist” for a new place to live. An airport, library, good medical services, a small town, and a Spiritual Center.
I was beginning to believe that I might be in the right place at the right time.
Being a retired Sea Captain, I missed my love for crossing oceans and was envious when I would watch families' house boating on the lake.
It was only natural that I would have noticed a For Sale sign tacked onto a patio boat in the RV park.
The owner had used the boat for fishing and decided to sell it. The boat was trashed and needed tender loving care.
I decided to buy the patio boat with the thought that the refurbishing project would be good therapy for my grief.
I enjoyed the time spent refurbishing the Patio Boat and named it Tiki Hut.
Labor Day Weekend (1999) was approaching, and I was excited to spend time on the lake. I invited a couple that I had met at the RV park to join me for the Labor Day weekend, but they had other plans.
I decided to place a small ad in the local paper. “Retired Sea Captain seeking company on my Patio Boat for Labor Day weekend”. I had never placed such an ad before, but not knowing anyone in the area, I thought I would try it.
I was surprised at how many calls I received. I had a checklist that I was hopeful would eliminate the wrong type of callers. If I thought the caller was credible, I would invite them out to the Lake for an interview. There were only a few callers that made the credibility list.
One caller said her daughter saw my ad and suggested that she call to learn more about the Labor Day weekend offer. During the phone call, I learned that we shared a common experience of having lost our spouses to cancer. We were both retired, and financially independent, our religious beliefs were the same, and we were not seeking marriage.
The caller’s name was Alice McKinna, who retired from public service with the State of California, and enjoyed going out for dinner, the North State Symphony, and going to a movie now and then.
I decided that Alice was a person of quality and invited her to join me for the Labor Day weekend.
We both enjoyed being on the Lake for the three-day weekend, and it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We begin having lunch, going out for dinner, and attending church on Sundays. Our relationship developed slowly from a friendship, to companions, to a significant other status.
In June of 2000, Alice informed me she had purchased a lot in a gated community and asked if I would be the go-to-person with the developer during the construction of the house. I accepted the role with the belief that helping Alice would also be good therapy for me as well.
The construction started in July 2000 and the house was completed in October 2000. I enjoyed negotiating with the Developer and felt good about obtaining approximately $30,000 in savings on the final purchase price.
I also felt good about dealing with the developer a year later when all the concrete started to fail. It took over a year and getting the California State Contractors Licensing Board involved to obtain a $5000 check from the developer to replace all the concrete.
In January 2000, Alice asked me if I would consider selling my home in Washington State and move to Redding.
I explained to Alice that my condominium had a beautiful view that overlooked Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains, was within walking distance to downtown, was paid for, and during my twenty-five years as a Sea Captain, the condominium was my security blanket for when I retired.
On January 12th, 2000, unknown to me, Alice made a First Amendment to her Trust stating that if I survived her, I could purchase the home from the Trust for the amount she paid for it. She wanted me to know that if I sold my condominium, I would always have a home.
I explained to Alice that I appreciated her effort to have me move to Redding and be with her, but I was not going to sell my condominium.
My concern was if our relationship did not work out, she could change her Trust Amendment and I would no longer have a home in my senior years.
On July 23rd, 2002 unknown to me, Alice made a Second Amendment to her Trust stating that if I survived her, I could purchase the home from the Trust for the amount she paid for it.
Her intention was to make the Second Amendment Irrevocable thus insuring me that if I sold my condominium and lived with her, I would be guaranteed to always have a home.
During our three-year relationship, we never had one argument or disagreement, and we counted our blessings for a second chance at happiness. We realized that we were truly in love with each other.
I sold my condominium in Washington State convinced that I was blessed to have Alice in my life.
On April 5th, 2006, after a six-year courtship, Alice and I married.
Our loving relationship was a gift from heaven.
I never thought I would ever have a second chance of finding happiness, and to love and be loved again.
We house-boated on Shasta Lake in the summer. Wintered in Palm Springs and kayaked on Lake Lewiston, and Whiskey Town Lake. Vacationed at Puerto Vallarta and Mazatlán, and traveled in my motorhome to every ocean beach from Oceanside California to Seaside Oregon.
Alice had been a volunteer for a Redding Hospice and enrolled in her first year of Spiritual Practitioner training with Dr. Andra Golden, and I finished my second year of Spiritual Practitioner training with Dr. James Golden.
On October 25th, 2016, unknown by me, Alice made a Third Amendment to her Trust making me the Trustee of her Trust, Executer of her will and Beneficiary of her Estate.
She confided in me that she had paid off the mortgage on her oldest daughter’s house, given her son her deed to multiple timeshares. and gave cash and paid for a car for her youngest daughter. She said they were all doing well and felt that after ten years of marriage and happiness she should leave her husband the house.
My reaction was that Alice had always been serious about living a healthy lifestyle and her family had a history of longevity. I had always felt that Alice would outlive me. Nevertheless, I loved her even more for her determination in guaranteeing that I would always have a home if she passed before me.
On December 20th, 2017, under the guise of taking her mother to lunch, the youngest daughter took her to Alice’s Redding probate attorney Justin Arel, who changed Alice’s entire Estate Plan that disinherited me, and made the daughter Trustee of the Trust, Executor of Alice’s Will, and a Beneficiary of Alice’s Estate. The only asset in the Trust was Alice’s house.
The daughter told Redding attorney Justin Arel that I was under a full-blown investigation by the Adult Protection Service.
None of the daughter’s allegations were true. A senior supervisor from Adult Protection Service called me in February 2018 to inform me that she was closing the file.
On January 23rd 2018, Daniel Stoll, MD diagnosed Alice with significant Dementia.
On March 23rd 2018, a Board-Certified Psychiatrist diagnosed Alice with dementia.
On February 17th 2018, the senior supervisor from Adult Protection Service was interviewed by a senior Probate Court Investigator saying that in her professional opinion she did not believe that “Alice had the mental capacity to understand the changes made to her Estate Plan on December 20th 2017.”
On July 3rd 2018 Alice’s son, Ray Nicols, and I were appointed as Alice’s Co Conservators. Ray was an accountant and lived in Fernly Neveda.
The Probate Judge revoked the Power of Attorney and Advanced Health Directive that was signed on December 20th 2017, but not the will or trust documents. The Judge ruled that a separate petition would have to be filed for the will and trust documents that was executed on December 20th 2017.
The legal fees for the contested Conservatorship petition amounted to $30,000.
Our attorney advised that the legal fees for filing a petition to revoke the December 20th, 2017 will and trust documents would be $25 to $30,000.
Our financial resources at that time were not enough to cover the additional legal expenses.
From 2018 to 2023, I was Alice’s 24/7 caregiver. I prepared her meals and did the grocery shopping. I scheduled her appointments, and took her to her doctors appointments, beauty salon, nail salon, and special outings such as picnics at Caldwell Park and Shasta Lake.
I oversaw the installation of a Sleep-by-Number remote-controlled bed and a Walk-In Jacuzzi bathtub which proved to be a crucial factor in caring for Alice.
On special occasions such as Alice’s birthday, Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, I planned special dinner parties, and invited senior companions to help Alice celebrate the special event.
I updated a Whiteboard near the dining room table so Aly would know her daily schedule and a reminder that the wireless Medical Alert watch she wore was her best friend.
I installed Ring.com cameras in every room so when I needed to leave for grocery shopping, I could observe on my cell phone Alice coloring at the dining room table or sleeping. I was only minutes away from the grocery store and if I saw that Alice needed me, I could be back to house within two minutes.
Aly loved to color. I ordered coloring books and art supplies from Amazon and posted her finished projects on the walls. Alice was a good artist in her earlier years and coloring allowed her to spend hours coloring. It was incredibly good therapy for her.
Once a month I attended a dementia support group at Willow Spring Alzheimer’s Care Center to learn how to care for someone with Dementia.
I hired a caregiver to help me give Alice the exceptional care that she deserved and needed.
Patty bonded with Alice and became Alice’s best friend. Patty and I tucked Alice in bed every night telling her how much we loved her. Alice would respond, saying I love you too.
Aly and Patty liked to tease me on things like leaving the garage door open. It was a way for Aly to know she always had a friend who would support her.
I never felt for one minute, “why me” or that Alice was a burden to me. I received so much inner joy taking care of Alice.
Her family that lived in Redding never volunteered to help care for Alice.
Her youngest daughter, who lived in Redding never stopped trying to convince Alice that I was a lifelong conman and was stealing her money. Even though I had documentation of personally spending more than a $100,000 as my contribution in my relationship with Alice.
The daughter’s boyfriend harassed me for five years and was convicted of assaulting me.
When Alice was diagnosed with Dementia, I sent a letter to her grandchildren saying that it was important that they should visit their grandmother. My recollection is that they came once in five years.
On June 6th, 2023, Alice McKinna Nelsen made her transition.
I had brought her morning juice and went back to kitchen to prepare her breakfast. When I returned to the bedroom to check on her, she had gone back to sleep and never woke up.
On June 9th, 2023, three days after Alice passed the daughter as Trustee turned off all the utilities including the water, electricity, telephone, and the Internet at the residence of Alice McKinna Nelsen’s home.
On June 18th, 2023, the youngest daughter as Trustee sent a 30-day eviction notice to the home that had been my residence for 23 years.
After a twenty-four-year relationship, a sixteen-year marriage, and five years of 24/7 care for Alice, I became a homeless person.
Alice McKinna Nelsen was a beautiful woman, physically and spiritually. It was an honor to care for her and give her happiness and all my love for twenty-four years. I feel blessed that she shared her life with me. I will miss her forever.
Am I hateful towards Alice’s children? No!
I am a Spiritual person. Hate is a poison that pushes out love in one’s heart.
Do I want Justice? Yes, without Justice a civilized society is doomed.
Why am I sharing my story?
My message is: If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone!
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